Just for a moment, pretend you’re a caterpillar.
Now try to visualize your biggest caterpillar dream.
YOU WANT TO BECOME A BUTTERFLY
Pretty big leap of the imagination, right?
Because, let’s face it: You don't have wings.
Which means something has to change.
Take a moment to think about what that means.
You will have to give up WHO YOU ARE in order to become who you want to be.
Caterpillars do this, you know.
They get to a point where they literally outgrow their skin.
It's called the full-fed state.
That's when they knit a little cocoon around themselves and dissolve into goo.
Isn't that amazing?
The caterpillar lets go of everything about it that is caterpillar so it can become something else.
And while it’s melting down into a cellular soup, (it actually digests itself) something special inside starts to create a butterfly.
And whether you call it science, or the force of creation, or the magic of nature, this "special something" carries the genetic blueprints needed to re-arrange all that digested material into a beautiful creature that can fly.
Simply put, an inner intelligence knows what to do.
But let's get back to YOU for a moment.
What do you want most for yourself this year?
What's YOUR biggest dream?
Maybe you’re an engineer who wants to become an artist.
Or a stay-at-home-Mom who wants to start a business.
Maybe you’re carrying 30 lbs of extra weight around and your biggest dream is to be 30 lbs lighter than you are right now.
Maybe you just want to be nicer to your kids.
Or, maybe, (if you're like most of the people I coach) you can't even put a name to it.
It's just a restlessness, a yearning for something more.
If that's the case, I've got news for you.
Restlessness, yearning, and dissatisfaction are all indicators that in some area of your life, you've reached your full-fed state.
This is a very good thing.
We're meant to keep growing, and that uncomfortable, too tight, "doesn't-fit-anymore" feeling is a necessary requirement for the change your heart craves.
Without it, you'd stay right where you are.
No one actually wants to take the journey to transformation.
Deep down, we instinctively know that saying yes to change means giving something up.
And to survivor brain, this can feel really, really scary.
See that green arrow above?
THAT’S the journey part.
That's the boat-trip you'll have to take to get from where you are now to where you want to be.
And somewhere along this line, you'll be asked to experience a dissolving experience of your own.
Like the caterpillar, you'll need to let go of your current identity in order to activate your metaphorical wings.
Which means releasing:
your idea of who you think you are
your outdated coping mechanisms
your favourite excuses
your valued (but limiting) beliefs
your memories of victimization that you still use as an excuse for your actions
your dependence on the approval of others
I'm sorry, but it's all got to go.
And this can feel like chaos and grief and loss.
Melting down into GOO isn’t comfortable.
Caterpillars surrender to this process fully, but humans (who are hard-wired to avoid pain and discomfort) tend to fight it with everything they've got.
Which can turn the wonder of metamorphosis into a misery.
The moment you enter the waters of transformation, you enter the in-between place of the liminal phase. You’re not in your safe, familiar role and you’re not in your new life either.
You’re on the high seas of change, with the waves of uncertainty rolling around you, and when you look for comfort, most times all you'll see is the void.
It’s hard to have faith then—when land is nowhere in sight. This is when you’ll be tempted to quit and go back to your old life.
Not because it’s better there (because you actually know it’s not), but because it’s familiar.
That's when you'll need to summon up the willingness to support yourself through the discomfort.
This will mean using self-kindness to meet your anxiety. It will mean soothing your nervous system with the steadiness of your breath. It will mean changing the scripts you were given as a child and showing up again and again for those parts that are stuck in the past.
Your real destination isn't the new business, or the new body or the new bank account. Those things are just the bow on the package.
Your REAL destination is the discovery of your own truth and the expression of your true self.
You're connected to something so much bigger than your fear.
In order to get over those dark waters, you'll need to pull your attention from "out there" to the inner realm of your own deeper knowing.
You'll need to open your heart and keep it open to every part of yourself, no matter what.
And you'll do it, I promise you.
Because that's what it's going to take.
Sending you so much love,
